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Chapter IV
A Short Chapter of my Urbis Brain Droppings which did droppeth aplenty in August & September of 2007…
Hungry Reader, like some assistant chef, I’ve worked these many days in the Kitchen of Prose ‘reviewing’ the submitted on Urbis whilst garnishing with my pungent droppings of oozing galore of lovely substance & form. I present them, these plates of steaming bounty, here for you of the bellies needing sustenance & warm…
1. Writer of the Mouse Wheel Terrors,
Ghost, I feel thee feelings to be lost.
Refrain, delete, delete, delete!
Compact and tighten up or thee to come to cost!
Message ethereal of pleasing imagery replete,
Risk reader finger flicking, flicking, flicking economy terrain,
And thou message lost to all not to compete!
2. Writer of Quiet Observation Profound,
I don’t know if can be quiet,
I sometimes miss the beauty of a moment,
You who do see them with elegance compliant.
Remind reader of loveliness not lament,
Was like looking upon some small flower brilliant,
You of the slow heart so pleasing as a poet.
3. Writer of Old Man not Heard to Change by Santana,
You say, “WTF!”
I say, “Groovin’ to the words, baby, so moving!”
Distinct is the message reader to pluck.
Observe what I also, “But were you too young & playing?”
Are you in this imagery of old man sad obstinate stuck?
Family sad story from one generation to the next staying…
4. Writer of the Wind,
I can not offend,
because I’m afraid that your writing is to win.
I’ve just added some housekeeping below,
but your message I would defend on top and low.
5. Writer of Sublime Writing Elemental,
Have I read your Ichor before?
My, my, my… Endless praise for this Comparison
you have in store!
Best writing on Urbis?
Poetic sire; you’re on Fire!
Deafening stamp of Vulcan poetic fury: I digress…
p/s – I’ve copied this to review at my heart’s distress!
6. Writer of Philosophy not decided upon by God,
Drinking wine was yours seen not to be researched,
Word different from Yahweh?
Two paths can’t be chosen or thee to be lost in the birch.
Verily, like sands through an hour glass,
These are the days of our lives,
Love in time of 2 Philosophies your soul not to Heaven pass…
p.s. I’ve copy and pasted this to look at for it has class…
7. Writer of the Gentle Lilacs Festooned,
You wish me to be specific,
But you communicated first Lilacs Festooned.
And so I’ll reply with poetry pacific.
A beautiful, wonderful poem,
You have fashioned of human passion,
But you to look at last line or reader to roam.
You, “I bloom.” I, “Ohh, no ending is this!”
You of Lilacs Festooned can loose to poem not finished doom.
8. Writer of so Above but tugged Below by Love that was of Scorn…
Emotional Energy you waste,
You who torture yourself,
You to fly away and not make haste.
For to stay,
Never you to be unchained,
Risk your heart to a demon who delight & play!
Unless you to say to yourself unfeigned,
Your letter won’t to be read and is okay…
I of heart’s pain to move on is plain.
9. Unknown Writer of Hand-Holding Beach Strolling,
Social Commentary & Love in one piece.
I ‘think’ you can develop it more.
Not sure of your construction technique – but, I perceive, your delivery
purpose isn’t of doubt.
If I may, I’ve attempted some changes…
I do like the use of atypical symbols.
In your case: 2. It calls for attention by a reader.
10. Writer of Class that I have not Alas,
Easy flow,
Though not to rhyme,
Can’t critique what I’ve not the class for subtle & slow.
Imagery fine,
But I didn’t understand window panes & blinds of hushed personal crime.
Your message, however, altogether is sublime.
11. Writer of Fears Lingering Hindering,
Review I can’t,
For I, too, see my Father of Post Traumatic,
Hanging in distance memories so deeply plant.
One thing for us both I plea,
“When do we let it go?”
I’m 36, you’re 23 and I fear for thee…
12. Writer of hydroxyethane Odysseus Trip,
Wanting honesty
You should recall
Strange Epic of un-Rhyming Odyssey,
Trapped by Calypso
Unless you labor to hourly rhyme,
Trapped until then no one but you can fix, so…
13. Writer of the Lockdown Blues Shakedown,
As guard or prisoner no use define,
We’re all citizens in the End,
No matter lockdown blues confine.
Remember Law of Rhyme,
Words of sweet refine to intoxicate sublime.
Refusal is misdemeanor writing of crime.
14. Writer of the Strange Analogy of Remembering,
Rat Pack,
Dinner Party,
Generations memories & class I lack.
Vision of forced conscriptions of yesterday,
Black & White.
You to give colorful descriptions for us today.
In a mirror you who see,
Us behind the mirror who are blind,
Remember more sublime or your reader to flee…
15. Writer of Love’s Pain…
Only one stanza,
Has possibility,
The rest need work’s bonanza.
Capitalize, punctuation & grammar.
Emotional exploration not anger’s demands plans.
Or risk unread words of worth mere stammer…
16. Watching Writer of the Willow Trees,
I broke up below,
What I couldn’t see previous in form,
And only then could see beauty of Willow’s halo.
For you a warning,
Writing to flow like stream peaceful under Willow,
Or reader caught in limbs of Willow confusion forming…
17. Writer of Views Stiletto,
More rhyme,
Or reader not past Stiletto,
Your great material unfinished poetry crime.
Reader seeing feeling but wanting flow,
You place stumble consonant blocks!
And back to desk lamp you of Stiletto View to go.
18. Writer of Blues Foreboding Warning…
Captured the reader with foreboding,
And how few often with same writing?
Simple, flowing but I offer 2 blues foreboding warnings…
Last line, x’d the comma, & you to say, “the Blues”?
And “your heart you poured out” you end with “through,”
“Why not rhyme with blues?” I construe.
19. Writer of Tolkien-esque Giant’s Epic,
Almost belonging in a book,
Writer of a Giant’s Epic,
A reader may become lost without 2nd look.
Why did the Giant need the town not near the arctic?
Expound on the threat of the Winged Horse.
What happened to the boy in this short epic?
Explain the Pact more,
Hoping to see more Writer of Giant’s Epic,
But put to floor unless you to descriptions explore.
20. Writer of Hendrix Crying Mary Lix,
And to feel foreboding,
Needing more explanation,
Join the two into more deepening unfolding.
Rid it of the asterisk,
Check the construction punctuation,
Or to lose good material you risk.
For a second fleeting,
I was reminded of Falkner in the first,
But you gave a blow of world lost screeching,
And so now Writer of Foreboding,
Recommend to write construction unfolding deepening,
Listening to blue light of Mary softly exploding…
21. Writer of Scholarly Trepidations,
What would a man of 36 say to you who of 10 years,
and can’t add to years more than 6?
Surely to cause praise amongst your graders & peers.
As your writing is lucid,
But do watch the grammar & the rhyme despite your school fears.
Keep at it young writer of less than the 10 & 6 years…
22. Melancholy Writer,
Just turned 36,
Who am I to grade non-redemptions attempt at unfix?
A rhymer I and cannot fix,
And wouldn’t beat thee with sticks,
Close to say, “…What went before cannot be changed,” is slick.
23. Missing Maddy (something in a letter to Sean actually)
Waiting on November,
I caretaker of my body & soul not in 1rst person,
Found I souls my thoughts to surrender.
Short & funny we hope for more discussion.
What has happened to Maddy ask we not to offender,
Sean and I wait on days more of her sprite collusion.
24. Writer of the Saving Graces One Too Many,
Two’s Company,
Three’s a Crowd,
You of Saving Graces too many is not serendipity,
You to rhyme to fix this cloud,
Work on construction of clear imagery,
Or Reader to walk to door, “Are you my saving grace?” out loud.
25. Writer of Eulogy Beautiful,
My only Comment is at the End,
You who write of Eulogy Beauty,
Imagery bright with rhyming I commend.
Message clear,
I hope I not to offend,
You of Eulogy Beauty to win awards not to fear.
26. Writer of the Out Loud Laughing,
I took a look,
I thought it should be in a book,
Laughing out loud my guts shook!
You of the laughing writing will have us all hooked.
27. Writer of the Odysseus’s Iron Maiden,
Confusion soon set’s in without meter,
Walking in your one stanza desert,
Daughter of Demeter.
Kidnapped by Hades from a crack did spurt,
Hermes freed with pomegranate seeds,
But you don’t say enough for reason’s comfort.
But you use imagery & metaphor for reader to feed,
So are you trapped,
In financial struggle with a Pluto of dark deed?
28. Writer of Lyrics of Mind’s Mad Ranger,
Believe me when I say to you,
This harboring thoughts of conspiracy & despair,
Always results in melt-down you to rue.
Yea, so what: Your lyrics can’t repair,
Democracy going down means no one can fix War Economy,
It just plays out behind closed doors’ black affairs.
So where does this leave you writing of angst hegemony?
You to sing words of Siduri:
War Gods are above so we to live as we can in harmony.
Pay thee heed to my words for you I worry.
29. Writer of Women’s Banner Fly so High,
One night drinking on Urbis,
Looked into the sky,
Saw flying rocket creaking ’round Uranus.
Said I to myself, “Now dat rocket’s got some hips so fly.”
Put down drink with realization, “No Captain Kirk on Vessel.”
Who never plant’d flag of Man but flag of WoMan-kind high.
30. Writer of Memories Road Downtown Lacking Morals,
Downtown ain’t bad.
City Hall where the Laws are made,
History & Art Display’s rad.
Could have ate high dine,
Could have seen shine,
Could have wandered ancient paintings fine,
You choose darkness wanderings shade,
No wonder you hate Downtown!
You to choose paths different not to lament & fade.
31. Writer of Sea’s Sublime Watching of Conduction,
I love rhyme but that’s absent here,
And so I slowed down my reading,
Your lovely imagery I to peer.
Pistachio pudding foam stopped I to ponder,
What a lovely mind you have,
Writer of Poseidon’s Realm of ocean yonder.
32. Writer of the Chocolate Culture,
Hot off the runways,
You need to look at Paris,
Or writing to crash into garbage pales.
“All art is worthless,”
Said Oscar Wilde,
But please consider my writing peerless.
33. Writer of Feeling Love without the Light On,
Out one night,
You crashed ’cause your lights weren’t on.
Wrecking your poetry car to fright!
Not wanting to offend,
You who feeling heart more than pen,
But keep at it, but turn the lights on I recommend.
34. Writer of the Clarion Call of Revolution,
Turn off CAPS,
Your message already powerful,
Or risk reader off to marching away stamps.
Your message full of anger,
My mind of life’s wisdom not come to emotional cramps,
I wager your message a mad animal in dark manger.
35. Writer of the Book for more than One.
What to do,
When you’re sweating all alone,
Friday night with Kama Sutra on the loo?
Best advice mate to grab the phone,
Call a lady to be your girlfriend to do you,
Or buy a blow-up doll to practice with your bone.
36. Writer of the 20-Somethings Blues for Nothings,
I have no arguments with thy writing,
But why do thee focus inside?
When all around thee Life is so delighting?
Dressed in dark refined,
Your poem telleth reader for you to go on trip,
To kiss girls under moonlight & love combined.
In Lo Confidence Until Thee Celebrate Thy 20-Somethings.
37. Unknown Writer of the Lightening Bolts Writing,
Not wanting thee to write,
Again you not to stand in a storm,
Or thee top be lit like match in ugly fright.
You writing of electrical imagery above norm,
Profound & sad,
Hope for more just not under Zeus’s energy thorn.
With Quiet Reflection & Now Your Fan not so Bad,
38. (my newest addition sub munitions not of review’s rendition) With a Jack & a Coke, this fell out of the Blue with a stroke. Do thee not agree? Not for grading, but only of my heart’s joke to thee in hope will thou belly laughter be awoke. Perhaps thee can help with a 3rd Stanza collaboration not broke? In Nuncle’s court, I too, of High Regard for Thee, strangepeade:
Lurking, lurking,
As a ‘poet’ here I am so poor!
To read a review cursing,
I have to review so much more!
Again & again,
Into Greek Tragedy I am immersing,
Into heaping, heaping literary store’s bin!
Sweat of fear of trap of word’s gore my soul spiraling!
39. Writer of the Dried-up Hearts Needing Nourishment Outward,
Read quickly but hard because of heart clot,
Wanting more shells as that is the best,
Reader needing imagery machine gun fire into heart.
You to write like this here to test,
But can’t until you start,
To free yourself I don’t know how I leave to rest…
In Hope of Regard of Writer to Flush Clot of Heart’s Fester
40. Unknown Writer of the Theme too Familiar,
Like flowers in a Row,
Have I come upon this before?
Same theme of sad female farmer sad labor plow.
Poem like men of future all before,
Some to plant bad, some to plant good:
You & reader not to smell bad ones in a flow…
Very Respectfully and Hope to Read of Heart’s Flood
41. Writer of Film Noire Bacall Love’s Fall us All,
Gimmie Gimmie Coincidence?
I plead Innocence.
Heard, “Don’t let the Sun going down on me,” confidence.
“Too late save myself falling…”
“Took a chance…”
“Change a life…”
You to drop cigarette past tense,
and drop the man post haste,
To heart petals lit back to the Sun & happy banter hence.
42. Writer of 2 be or not 2 be,… “Truly?”
Seek thee not subtle communications,
Oh, Reader of the Greeks!
Skip chapters to see no one reads Meditations…
Lost your flower of examinations upon ph. freaks,
“Singing, Mrs. Robinson,” Euclid-dations…
“Ku, ku, cachoo,” your sacrifice of reason creaks…
Where have will you Gone, Writer of Sorrows’ Truth?
43. Writer of Scent I have smelled before,
Hay, D.J., “playing record of favorite – Homer,”
Calling up the request line,
Grabbing inuendo by the fist full, I not robber.
Subtle as mist upon a meadow quiet so fine.
Reader , have to think…
Hay, D.J., want more I on the request line sublime…
Regards Not in the Cubes under Incandescent Stars
44. Writer of the Scarlett letter,
Rarely come upon,
IMAGERY: yours -
Powerful, sad – who doth she to look forgone?
Into my eyes: I see ugly lechery,
And in heart’s hearth burn, “Reader’s heart fell condone.”
Not into later years we alone in bar’s dressed confectionary.
Regards of Writer of sad Tumbleweed Rolling Bar not visited,
45. Writer of the Disturbing Vision,
Short lines not normal will Have I.
Reviewed 3x.
Urge not to review such Dark I confide…
Can’t Regard Writer pending Hot Hell in Time…
46. Writer of the Best I’ve Seen and I to copy for Personal Meditations…
You’re 18?
Never I to write like that I’m 36:
Like cockroach: I to scurry under the stove fainting.
You’re a switch when flicked to Write,
Light’s all of the place,
Filling nooks & crannies with your Mind’s idea flight.
Humbled, I to Crawl Away from Thee Prose as if Bug Spray for I…
47. Writer of the Fear You Make me of Pallid Toothy Girl Dating,
Under the Moon you festivities dig’n,
Listening to Kravitz,
“There is nowhere to run, Nowhere to hide”!
Before the Sun she bites in,
You’ll find rouge flooding out the other side.
Your falling petals to End!
Regards Deep of Praise, but Fear of the Lady Gothic Bar Lurking…
48. Writer of the International Look the Other Way Day Agenda,
Your writing I not to comment upon,
But Message I will,
Male-ism this, Feminism that: Our attention gone.
Lost are Children in the schools & on our streets.
Prey to monsters in print & in the dark.
Yet: We to vote our Sexuality accomplishment effete?
Have we become so lost – Doom, Doom, Doom
To put Penis & Vagina on Hubris Pedestals?
I am this, you are that: but runaways, “Boom, Boom, Boom.”
49. Writer of Theme which Sprouted to Flower Elegant & Bold,
You to observe writer of lo confidence seem:
Life a farmer walk upon ground of our souls
Drop, Drop, Drop do seeds fall from hand Life’s theme.
Some plots bold,
Some plots to fold,
But I watch yours for already I see gold.
Regards of the Watcher of Flowers Unfolding
50. Writer of Religious Banner Careful Thee Not Let Free,
Short your words sharp like swords,
But long have rivers through Time,
Flowed of blood & bodies stiff as boards.
Review your message of violent conceptions,
Your fruit of War not of ripe yet,
But world doesn’t need your religious misconceptions.
You not in Regard of Works That Send me Armed Lurking in Shadows
51. Writer of Beauty I’m Afraid to See,
Someday I to ride in front not to last,
Of Train you now ride,
But I fear the Beauty you know on you cast.
Half Long my train now,
But it goes so fast…
Slow down, slow down life I yearn to live full now.
In High Regard of Imagery I can’t Escape
52. Writer of Sentiments I know all too Well,
You to observe line 2,
Drop the l to rhyme with war,
And that it the real deal long due.
Worry you make same mistake as I.
Why to you call it war?
Pay you heed message of Siduri.
Worry you I who Fight War for no Reason at All
53. Writer Thinking of Love’s Chemistry and not on Writing,
You ask, “can you relate?”
I say, “First: grammar, punctuation & spelling!”
But… I can relate on Love’s Chemistry with a mate.
54. Writer of Past Abuses 3rd Grade Shame…
What are we to do…
Looking back and see the small kid,
To hit & abuse we did to sue.
Did we not yearn to be champions?
And, yet, they beyond us to rise:
They did not stop from our curses small murmurings…
In regard of Loan Denials by Kid Thy Stroke Because Thee are Broke
55. Writer of the Steel Sphere in Thy Throat & Choking…
What is this?
Spacing, rhyming & stanza’s constructions,
You 2 review writer of thinking only love’s bliss’s..
Delivery not of foul corruptions,
Out from the gate with proper gist,
You to put back in womb for proper cooking’s…
In regard of Feelings more than Writings
56. Writer of the Flowing Prose of Persied Glow…
Sweeping forth from Urbis constellations,
Found I this I wish to keep for myself,
& only can I give thee adulations.
Simply thee must write more
Waiting I with expectations,
Writer of the Sky surely to score…
In high regard of thy views astronomical…